Holy frickin' crap! Where did the time go? Seems like I was just talking about puking my guts out and getting too big for regular clothes. Now all of a sudden I am double digits in days away from meeting Dippe. And scared shitless.
There is something to be said for the ignorance of a first time pregnancy. You don't know the enormity of what is to come. You can spend your time imagining all the blissful moments you experience having a newborn around. Picturing the wonder of motherhood you fold and refold all the little clothes and try to imagine meeting your little one for the first time after your perfect, glorious birth.
Then the baby arrives and your world is turned upside down.
With A, I was totally unprepared for the constancy of motherhood and the inevitability of the mistakes I would make, not only as a first time mom, but as a human being. Every day brought new situations that I had no idea how to handle. I felt inadequate as a mother and wondered constantly how my son would ever survive to adulthood with a bumbling idiot for a mom.
Obviously I made it through and my son is still alive. I still feel like a miserable failure at parenting >80% of the time, but I guess that is okay since it is down from 100% at the time of his birth. Everyone tells me that the newborn stage the 2nd time around is easier. I am hoping that they are right.
Dippe is a very active little one right now. She kicks and punches and moves around all the time. She also gets herself caught in very uncomfortable places still. Now that she is bigger it hurts more when she gets "stuck."
According to my pregnancy books she is able to hear sounds from outside the womb now and is opening her eyes. I wonder what she sees in there? I wonder what she hears? She will probably come out reciting Hop on Pop and Fox in Socks since I am reading those books to A at least 10 times a day each (at his request).
I feel like a whale and I still have 3 months to get bigger. I am nervous about being a newborn mom again. I am wondering what little Dippe will look, act, sound, and smell like. I am looking forward to being done with pregnancy once and for all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Oh Lord I'm terrified of that newborn stage again... ignorance truly is bliss the first time around.
I remember sitting in the shower when Deacon was a week old thinking, "What in the world have I done?"- I felt like a failure and completely helpless.
One good thing is that you know you can do it... and you know you can do it well.
Post a Comment