Beginnings and Endings

Tuesday the 8th of April I started having contractions at around 9pm. I had been feeling wonky all day Monday and suspected that this would be coming sometime soon. The contractions weren't too strong or regular, mainly just really annoying Braxton Hicks type contractions. They went away enough for me to sleep until about 3 am and then started coming more regularly along with severe lower back pain. I slept on and off until A woke me up around 6am. S was planning on staying home anyway to watch A during my last OB appt at 11:45. I decided to wait to see what Dr. F said at my appt rather than go to the hospital. The contractions weren't really that bad...bad enough that I had to breath through them but not bad enough that they were particularly painful. They kept petering out and then coming back stronger and then petering out. I didn't want to go to the hospital until I was sure that I was really in labor. My Mom was going to drive 3 hours one way for the birth and I would've felt terrible if she had started her journey only to have to turn around because the hospital sent me home.
When I get to the Dr's office she is running 3o minutes behind on appts. Meanwhile I am contracting in her waiting room and starting to sweat a little. I brought all of the stuff for the hospital with me in the back of the car in case she sent me to the hospital but I was wondering if I would be able to make it to the hospital driving by myself.
Dr. F checked my dilation (nothing). She asked me if I wanted to just do the c-section. Of course! But first she had to call the hospital and make sure they had an operating room ready.
Well, I guess every woman in town had decided to go into labor that morning and they had no rooms available! WTF? They considered my c-section elective since I wasn't dilated and basically told my doctor to send me home until they had room. At this point I was picturing laboring until Monday when I had my c-section scheduled anyway. Dr. F told me that there was no way in hell this baby wasn't going to be delivered that day. She suggested I go home and wait until after dinner (but not to eat anything before then as they want at least 6 hours before giving the anesthesia) and then go to labor and delivery. Once they saw I was in labor they would have to call her for a recommendation and she would tell them to keep me at the hospital until a delivery room opened up.
So I went home and labored and waited. It was hard to just wait not knowing what was going to happen. Plus I was worried about my Mom making it in time since this would be her last grandchild as she had missed A's birth.
We left for the hospital around 6pm and they admitted me to monitor my contractions. I still wasn't dilated at all, but I never dilated with A even after 16 hours of hard labor. Sure enough, I was in labor so they called Dr. F. She told them to admit me for surgery at 8pm. Things started happening really fast from that point on. My Mom arrived and they prepped me for surgery. Before I knew it S and my Mom changed into scrubs and were put in the surgery waiting area. After an extremely painful spinal block where the anesthesiologist missed my spinal cord 4 different times and then told me there must be something wrong with me because she couldn't get the needle in. Bitch, I am contracting and have a uterus the size of an aircraft carrier. Don't fuck with me right now.
After what seemed like forever they tested me for numbness, my doctor came in and chatted with me for a while while they prepped me. S and my Mom were let in. Everything seemed so surreal. All the nurses and doctors were chatting while they were working. The only indication that there was actual surgery going on was the occasional pause in conversation with my Dr. asking for some surgical tools or the smell of my cauterized flesh wafting over the drape. I felt some tugging and realized that we were very close. My Mom and S were watching them trying to get little W out and S told me later it was a good thing I couldn't see what was going on because apparently she was stuck in there good. My Mom said that Dr. F was pulling so hard her face was turning red and the assisting doctor was pushing down on my upper abdomen while leaning into it with his feet off the ground. At one point they called for reinforcements because they weren’t sure they could get her out. My Mom said she almost felt like passing out at one point but looked down at my face and saw I wasn't in any discomfort. At 9:21pm little W was born quietly into the world. S cut the cord while my Mom took a million pictures. I started shaking and feeling cold which is a reaction to the blood loss and anesthesia. Dr. F informed me that I had a lot of scar tissue and that it was going to take her a while to sew me up. S stayed like glue with baby W while they checked her out.
It took the doctor so long to sew me up that I was starting to get really worried. Luckily the anesthesiologist warned me before the most uncomfortable part happened...the stuffing of my aircraft carrier sized uterus back into the incision. I can't even describe what that feels like, but even numbed up it was extremely uncomfortable.

W started nursing like a champ in the recovery room and stayed pretty much latched on to my ni.pple for 48 hour straight. My hospital stay was very restful, although I was desperately wanting to see my little A and wondering how he was going to take having a little baby around.

So far everything has been very very good. A has had his temper tantrums and jealousy and I have felt like the worst mom in the world, but what else is new? W is a dream baby…very calm and even tempered. She sleeps pretty well at night, which is all I can ask.

Which brings us to this blog. My 40 weeks is officially up and I really don’t think continuing here has a point. Here is my new blog

www.18yearsandcounting.blogspot.com

You are welcome to join me.

She's here....

As of Wednesday, April 9th at 9:21pm. 8lbs, 15 oz and 20.5 inches long. More details when I have time...

38 week appt

My 38 week appt was yesterday and all is looking well. GBS test came back negative, which doesn't really matter since I am having a c-section anyway, but it is nice to know just the same. I have 11 days to go until my section date and honestly it can't come fast enough for me. I am feeling very ungainly and tired and just ready to get this baby out. The doctor estimated yesterday that she is already 8.5 pounds and I am not surprised. My abdomen looks like it is about to split like a ripe watermelon...and feels that way too.
My sleep at night is just awful. I am waking up at least every half hour to hour to change positions because my hips start to ache. Or I am waking up to pee. Either way, I am not getting much rest. S gets up at 5:30 am to start his shower which wakes me up. Usually, A will hear the shower start and come in around 5:45 am to try to start the day. I will make him go back to bed until at least 6. I feel like a zombie most days and unfortunately for A my patience with him is very very thin. Especially when he gets up at 5:50 am today to tell me that he has peed all over his bed because he took his pull up off in the middle of the night so he could "feel the softie blankets on his pe.nis." Yeah.
I can tell little Dippe is totally out of room in her little womb house. She doesn't really have overt movement any more, just squirms and pokes. She still gets upset when I have a full bladder. I am sure anything that takes up more room in my abdomen makes her uncomfortable. I would love for her to come any day now but I am not holding my breath. A came a day late. I am regretting not taking the section date for Wednesday the 9th. I didn't do it because it wasn't convenient for S or my Mom (who is planning on being in the OR during the surgery). Now I am thinking, "Who the fuck cares if it was inconvenient for them?"
My last OB appt is Wednesday. I can't believe that in 11 days time I will have another child. For her sake I hope she is an easy baby.

Update and 37 week appt

Well, Monday evening I get a call from the office manager of my OB's office. She listened to my tale of woe and then apologized profusely. She agreed that I had a valid gripe about being rescheduled so many times and admitted that while reschedules are par for the course in obstetrics the amount that I had received in a row was excessive and wrong. She told me that my doctor would be calling me back later in the evening to confirm my c-section date. I felt better after the phone call because at least then I knew that it had been brought to her attention by someone in the office and hopefully that meant that no one else would have to go into hysterics to get treated fairly.
My doctor called a couple of hours later and had already spoken to the office manager. She, also, apologized and explained that the lady who was at fault in all the scheduling mistakes had been taken off of that position indefinitely until she can retrain and have a much needed attitude adjustment. She gave me three tentative dates for my c-section and said she would have the hospital liaison call me back to confirm a time the next day. She also tentatively made an appt with me for Weds (today) at 10:30am for my 37 week appt. She told me that she was supposed to scrub in at 9am for a c-section but that she was just assisting with that operation and that I should call around 9am the morning of the appointment to see if the she started on time. That way, if she were running late I would know and be able to leave my home accordingly. All in all, she said that they were using my situation as an example for their next staff meeting of their piss poor customer service and promised that things would be better.
As promised, the scheduler called the next day with the date and time of my c-section (April 14th, 7:30am).
I made plans with a friend to watch A because I knew they would be giving me my GBS test today and I didn't want him in the room distracting the doctor while she was sticking her finger up my butt and a swab in my vagina. Also, I wanted to make sure that if she were late I wouldn't have to worry about keeping A entertained.
As directed, I called the office this morning at about 9:15, just as I was leaving the house to drop Angus off. The receptionist said, "Well, I have no idea whether or not Dr. F started surgery on time. She didn't call to say she was running late so just assume that no news is good news and go ahead and come on in as scheduled." I drop Angus off and am on my merry way. My cell phone rings as I am about 80% of the way to the office. "Hi, this is the Receptionist from Dr. F's office. Her surgery has been pushed back an hour and a half so we are going to have to.... (wait for it)....reschedule you for another time next week."
At this point I just start hysterically laughing. What else is there to do? Really, I just can't win for losing at this point. I am actually quite calm about the whole thing because I don't have A with me so making a 1.5 hour round trip for nothing isn't as big a deal.
I say, "Well, I can't come back in this afternoon and since this is my second rescheduled appt this WEEK I am going to have to pass on coming back at all. It is a waste of gas and a waste of my time. Since I am already almost there, is there any way that I can just come in and have my blood pressure and urine tested and leave?" She puts me on hold to see what she can do. My doctor's assistant comes on the phone and starts apologizing profusely and mentioning bad luck and Murphy's law over and over again. She states that another doctor (Dr. Boogernose) will be able to see me when I arrive. I am fine with that. Honestly, I just want to get this appointment over with.
I get to the office and the receptionist doesn't even have to ask for my name, which is a first. When I come out of the bathroom from giving my sample there is a lady standing in the hallway waiting for me. She introduces herself as the office manager and shakes my hand. Then she tells me that Dr. F is 15 minutes out and will be here to see me. Imagine my surprise!
After months of never seeing my doctor and being rescheduled over and over I finally get to see her. She is just as warm and kind as I remember her. She looks a little flustered and told me that she drove like a bat out of hell to get to the office for my appointment but she is here and here just for me.
She checks my dilation (nothing) and tells me the baby is face up which is the worst position for vaginal delivery in terms of pain. I am measuring right on track and the baby's heartbeat was 136. I have gained 36 pounds (ugh). Then she pokes her finger in my butt, and swabs my vagina. Talk about anticlimactic.
Now the waiting game commences. Will I make it to April 14th as planned? I am seriously doubting it. Although Angus was a day past his due date, he came 3 days before my scheduled c-section date. I just have an intuition that Dippe will be making her grand appearance sooner than that. But what the hell do I know? It may just be wishful thinking on my part.
My next appointment is a week from today. 19 days to go before Dippe makes her scheduled appearance. Now that I don't have my doctor's office to focus my stress on I am going to have to freak out about something else now. I am sure I will find something.

You won't believe it

Went in for my OB appointment today and guess what? The doctor wasn't even there...she was at the hospital delivering another woman's baby.
I am beyond upset. I made another 45 minute trip only to be rescheduled...again. I was so upset I couldn't even speak and then I burst into tears. I had to call my husband on the phone to calm myself down. Why didn't they call to tell me she wasn't even there? AGAIN? My poor son spends 1.5 hours in the car for absolutely nothing.
After all the guarantees that I would see my doctor today I have been let down again. S suggested that I have her call me today to schedule the c-section and air out my grievances. He also suggested asking her for a referral to another doctor if she can't see me this week.
Pregnancy shouldn't be like this. I am regretting not changing doctors sooner.

36 weeks and more OB Woes

So, I get a call this morning an hour and a half before my scheduled appt time. The appt desk was calling to let me know that the doctor I was supposed to see is out sick and they need to reschedule me. Again. In case you are counting this is the 5th fucking time I have been rescheduled. So I went completely apeshit on the woman (I didn't yell, just told her what I thought of the fact that I have been rescheduled so many times). She ends up telling me that it is not her fault the doctor is sick (true) and that I need to "work with her." I tell her that I am tired of working with this office and that I am about ready to take my business elsewhere. She asks me to come in at my regular appointment time to day and I can see Dr. Boogernose who happens to have a spot at almost my same time (10 mins earlier). I agree, double checking that this is not the doctor on call today because if I am on my way to the office and get rescheduled again I will probably go on a fucking rampage and blow some shit up.
I arrive 10 minutes early with A. in tow. We sign in. We wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. For an hour. A FUCKING HOUR IN THE WAITING ROOM WITH A TWO YEAR OLD. I finally get up and go to the window. The receptionist, seeing my face probably red with fury, assures me that I am going to get called back right now. We go back to the room and the medical assistant takes my blood pressure, 130/90. She looks surprised and asks if I have ever had high blood pressure before. I say, "Well, my blood pressure is probably high because I have been waiting in the waiting room for an hour trying to entertain my two year old after having my appointment rescheduled for the 5th time today." She looks at me, surprised and says, "Sorry. Well, Dr. Oncall will be in very soon." Wait a minute. Not Dr. Boogernose?
The reception desk has fucked me once again. And lied to me. If I had known that the doctor I was seeing was going to be the on call doctor I would've just skipped this appointment all together. Being seen tomorrow wasn't an option as I already had commitments made that I had to attend to. I explained this all to the woman on the phone and it didn't matter. I still got screwed.
Dr. Oncall (who was the Dr. I mentioned previously that wore the "fuck me" stiletto boots at another appt) comes in and we have our typical appt. She asks me if I had any questions and I ask her if I am ever going to have an appointment with MY doctor, since I have three weeks left. Because I would like to schedule my c-section (more on this in a minute). She tells me she will give the reception desk a note giving me permission to see my doctor early next week so we can schedule it as soon as possible. Then she tells me they have to recheck my blood pressure but not to worry they will get the arm cuff "For bigger arms." I swear, if my head could've popped off right then it would've. Now I am being told I have "big arms."
My blood pressure was fine by then and they let me go. I scheduled my appt with my doctor for this Monday. And I swear to god if this appointment gets rescheduled I am going to change doctors and take my insurance money for my big, fat c-section elsewhere.
I have decided to just pass on the VBAC. I was reading the blog of a woman whose child ended up with cerebral palsy due to complications during labor. I know that this is a small concern for the average woman. But for the pelvically challenged like me the risk of something happening (cord compression, shoulder dystocia, etc) is greater. Honestly, it isn't that important to me to take the risk at this point. Yes, recovery is going to suck. And yes, there are risks to major surgery. However, I am just not willing to try anything else at this point.
The doctor told me today that Dippe feels like a big baby. I am measuring a week ahead. On Monday I will know my baby's birthdate. Or I will be finding a new doctor.

35 Weeks

Please let these next few weeks go by fast. I am feeling gigantic and stretched very, very thin. This gigantic baby within me feels like she wants to punch her way out and do some break dancing. I am sure she is very cramped in there and yet she still makes these gigantic movements every now and then that are very painful. Seriously it feels like my belly is going to split in two when she does this. She is getting more and more hiccups lately too, which allows me to truly see that she is head down. The hiccups are usually on my left side and down so I guess she hasn't engaged in my pelvis yet.
I forgot to post a new symptom...leaking breasts. Fun, and fashionable. They are leaking a bit later this time than with A. I hope my milk comes in more quickly than it did with A. Those couple of days with just colostrum were tough for the both of us. Luckily the nurses gave us one of those SNS things that let me supplement with a little formula to stop the constant crying but allow me to get the nip*ple stimulation I needed.
In addition to leaking breasts I have terrible indigestion right now too, which I didn't get with A at all. T*ums have become my after dinner mint of choice.
I figure I should probably go out and buy all the stuff I will need for my hospital bag this next week. And fish the car seat out the garage to wash all the fabric parts on it. I can't believe that within a month's time (hopefully) this baby will be here.
So, if you see a gigantically pregnant woman at Target this weekend downing T*ums with two wet patches on her shirt purchasing tiny travel sized bottles of shampoo, mattress sized maxi pads, and breast pads just look the other way.