I have come to accept that I am not a pretty pregnant person. Hair starts to sprout in strange places all over my body. I get these weird patches of dark pigmented skin. My body starts to store fat in my back like I was going into winter hibernation. Yes, just my back. Did I mention that my nose and face swell to double their normal size?
I do not get a "cute little baby bump" that sticks out like a basketball underneath my shirt. First, I just look like I have a spare tire. Then I look like I should be wearing stretch pants, slip on shoes, and shopping at Wal Mart (which I do frequently). And finally I look like a chubby woman who might be pregnant but you are afraid to ask because I could just be shoplifting a turkey under my shirt.
Overnight I have jumped right into the spare tire hanging over the top of my pants stage. This spare tire could probably fit on Gravedigger.
Too bloated to wear my regular jeans, not big enough to pull off maternity shirts without looking ridiculous.On top of all of the body weirdness I am also really not interested in doing much in the way of self care other than showering. Plucking my eyebrows has been limited to keeping them from forming a unibrow. My mustache is out of control and starting to grow down into my chin whiskers. Lets not even discuss the horrors that are my bikini line or leg hair. I keep waiting for someone to shoot me with a tranquilizer dart and put me on the cover of the National Enquirer, "Sasquatch female found browsing at Wal Mart!!!"
So, I bought a new pair of maternity pants today to get me through the in between phase. I put them on right as I got home and immediately felt like a new woman. There is nothing like letting it all hang out without worrying about looking good. At this point, I have resigned myself to at the very least making sure I am clean and don't smell. Anything above and beyond that (hair styling, make up, clothes that match) is just a bonus.
2 comments:
Who cares what you look like. You will look pregnant soon enough. And please I bet you still look great!!
Gotta admit that I enjoyed the vision of a woman smuggling a turkey out of the grocery store. Got a good giggle out of that one. I am sure that you are adorable really. If it helps, I have had several people ask me when my baby was due, and that was way before I even contemplated trying to conceive.
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