Kicking her way to freedom

Baby Bean Dippe (see the extra "pe" at the end of Dip? That is the feminine spelling of Dip, in case you didn't know) seems to be trying to kick her way to freedom. Or maybe punch. It could be both, since I have no idea where she is actually sitting in my uterus. With A, I would receive this treatment mainly when I was lying on my right side at night. For some reason he really hated when I did that and would kick and punch me until I rolled over. Dippe seems to be having a free for all on my cervix and bladder. This makes me wonder if she really is a soccer player in training...my bladder is sort of ball shaped, right? Perhaps she is doing drills in there, preparing herself for World Cup 2027?
On the symptoms front, my face has suddenly broken out in teenage acne, but only on one side of my face. Weird. Also, I have been having an unquenchable thirst lately, which doesn't seem to go away for very long. I guess I should be doubling my normal water intake since my blood volume has doubled? I don't know, but that is a lot of water to be drinking for someone who has suddenly developed a pea sized bladder and has a future soccer player kicking at her bladder for hours on end.
Surprisingly, I have been very healthy this pregnancy as far as colds go. With A, I was sick pretty regularly. At least once every 6 weeks. I am now halfway through my pregnancy and have only had one cold. This is amazing, especially since A has been sick a few times and hasn't managed to pass it to me.
My next doctor's appointment is in 3 weeks. I am not looking forward to stepping on the scale. Darn scones.

All is well

Baby Bean Dip is measuring right on target. I guess my 9lb 2 oz son stretched my uterus out so much that it is just 2 weeks bigger than it should be. Who knows? I am just breathing a sigh of relief that the baby looks healthy and happy in there.
As for the sex...well, you can push me over with a feather. Its a girl! I am very surprised and a little scared. My sister has 2 girls and they are the drama queens of the century. Always getting their feelings hurt, crying all the time, and generally extremely touchy little people. A is such a rough and tumble kid, sensitive yes, but not disposed to drama in the least. I am not sure how I am going to deal with a girl child that is extremely girly or frilly...two things I am not. I didn't even know how to pluck my eyebrows until my sister held me down and made me do it in high school.
And please keep the name suggestions coming...I have no idea what we are going to name this little girl. Damn, my boy's name was so cool, too.

Doctor's Appt today

18 week appointment today. Baby Bean Dip's heart rate measured 166 bpm, which is normal. I met one of the new doctors to the practice and was less than impressed. As she was palpating my uterus she exclaims, "Wow, your uterus is all the way to your belly button! That is really big for an 18 weeker!" Me, stunned, says, "Well, could it be because this is my second child?" She gives me a blank look and says, "Uh, yeah, I guess so." And then continues on, business as usual.
What the fuck? Why would you say that to a pregnant woman? Or anyone in general? That would be like a doctor examining you and saying, "Holy shit, take a look at that gnarly mole! Those aren't supposed to look like that! Jesus, that is terrible!" Patient says, "Could it be cancer?" Doctor says, "Uh, yeah, I guess so. Now lets discuss why your hair isn't as shiny as it should be."
Of course Dr. Google has told me that having a bigger than expected uterus is caused by having too much amniotic fluid. Which is caused by various and sundry birth defects, most of which are incompatible with life outside the womb.
I am pissed at myself that I didn't ask more questions. I guess I just figure that if it was something to really worry about the doctor would handle it. But I really need to be more proactive in my health care and less trusting that something that should be noticed will be. I know I will be getting a detailed ultrasound in a week's time, which is probably what would happen if something were really wrong. But doctors shouldn't say shit like that to people and have it go unchecked. If I were really a dedicated person I would call the doctor back and make her explain what she said and ask her if something truly could be wrong.
But I won't.
I will just freak out until Tuesday and go from there.

Sometimes things go wrong

This is what everyone who is trying to conceive should be told. Because I don't think all of us realize that the responsibility of being a parent starts from the moment you get that positive pregnancy test. Suddenly, you are the keeper of a life that is not your own. Your educated guess may be called upon in a time of trouble to make a decision that will effect someone other than you. This burden falls on the shoulders of a small few, however, just like miscarriage fetal death is the dirty little secret of pregnancy that you don't hear about until it happens to you.
I have been reading the blog of a woman who has found out that her 20+ week fetus has a condition that is incompatible with life outside the womb. She and her partner are making the agonizing decision as to how to proceed.
I also read the blog of a woman who chose to terminate and was discussing how horrible it was to be walking into the hospital to end the pregnancy and feeling the baby kick her. I can't imagine what must've been going through her mind. At this point I can't even wrap my mind around it.
These decisions are not easy to make and fracture the reality of the person making them forever. Life must seem divided from that point on...the time before and the time after.
Why, then, don't we hear about these things more often?
Is it because doctors don't want to frighten pregnant women? Technically, most women will never even come close to having to make a decision like this. So I guess OBs are playing the odds that past a certain point a woman will be bringing a healthy baby home. Because most of the time that is what happens.
I personally don't like the idea of everything being fine until its not. I suppose this is why I want to know about what happens in the real world to real people. These women are not any different from me. One day I could be one of them. I would rather hear about the heartache and imagine the tragic what ifs than wake up one day and be blindsided. Maybe I am the only pregnant woman in the world who feels like this. But I just can't imagine that these women have suffered and lost for nothing.
Yes, this is a depressing post. But this is what I am thinking about nowadays as the day of the big ultrasound approaches. There are no guarantees in life.

Actually looking pregnant today

And yet, none of my old maternity clothes fit. I am not sure if this is because I started out weighing less this time, or because I puked more during the first trimester and actually lost weight. Whatever the case may be, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I only have 3 pairs of pants that fit, but they are the under the belly kind and I find them irritating at best. They seem to hit on the worst part of my belly...right where my uterus meets my intestines. Blah, this is turning into one big complaint blog. Unfortunately, that is how I am during pregnancy. Perpetually annoyed.
Something positive...my sense of smell seems to have diminished, which is refreshing. My house no longer smells like a morgue, my husband no longer smells like a corpse, and my son no longer smells like a urine factory.
I am having the worst time deciding on a name for this baby. Well, actually, to be more precise I am having a hard time deciding on a girl's name for this baby. The boy's name is already on lock down. I am feeling so strongly, though, that this baby is a girl that I fear I won't be able to use the wonderful boy's name I have picked out. Oh well, there is always postpartum gender reassignment. Or, I could get myself together and start seriously considering a girl's name. There are a couple that I like, but none that I really love.
I am looking for a name that is unique, but not hard to spell or pronounce. Nothing too popular or trendy. I am not a big fan of boy's names for girls. Nor do I like traditional names with strange spellings or "y"s and "i"s inserted in weird places.
So, if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.