OB DOA?

I haven't seen MY actual OB in 4 months because I am in a rotating practice and there are 6 doctors in it. 2 appts ago I was supposed to see her because she was up next on my rotation. The morning of the appointment I get to the office and find out she was on call that day and someone was having a baby so she was at the hospital. Luckily they had another doctor squeeze me in so it wasn't a wasted trip (I drive 45 minutes one way to get to this office. The length of time is so long because of terrible traffic). When I talked to the lady at the appointment desk I told her it would've been nice to know that I wasn't seeing my doctor that day. She flips me an attitude and says, "Well, I DID call your house at 8:30 to tell you." My appointment was at 9:00 am. I tried to explain to her that I have to leave at least 1 hour ahead of time to make sure I get to my appointments, especially during rush hour traffic. So, calling me 30 minutes before the appointment is supposed to start doesn't do anything for me. So they schedule my next appointment with my OB. 3 days after I schedule the appt they call me to tell me that my OB won't be in the office that day, so I need to see another doctor. I guess my doctor decided to be out of the office for a week, so it isn't possible to see her. Now, I am getting pissed. That is 2 reschedules in a row and it has been months since I have seen my actual OB. Finally, they just skip her on the rotation and schedule my appointment for today with another doctor. I figure it is annoying but once I reach 36 weeks I will see her only every week so I decide not to say anything about it. I get to the appointment desk and schedule my appt for 2 weeks from now with my OB (finally). I am on my way to the park today with Angus and my cell phone rings. It is MY F*&KING OB'S OFFICE CALLING TO RESCHEDULE MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!! Apparently the front office staff messed up and my doctor has JURY DUTY the week of my appointment. My 36 week appointment! Where they will be doing my Group B Strep test and also possibly scheduling my c-section. I was waiting to talk to MY doctor to really discuss in depth the VBAC and now I won't be seeing her until I am 37 weeks (if I make it that long. Hey, you never know) unless they reschedule me, of course. I was so pissed off that I asked the appointment scheduler if I should just change doctors right now because I am wasting my time driving 45 minutes one way to an office that I have only stayed with because I love my OB so much (when I see her). Luckily the scheduler was nice and let me pick my next favorite doctor to see and any time or day I wanted (which probably means somebody else got bumped but at this point I don't care). The hospital that she has privileges at is also 30-45 minutes away and there are two hospitals that are a 20 minute drive away. There are many things that would be more convenient about finding a doctor closer. I don't know how impossible it would be to find an OB this late in the game but after today I am considering it. It just seems like it would be more of a hassle than its worth right now and to be honest I am scared of picking a new doctor right now when I might be having a repeat c-section. I don't like the idea of a doctor I have only known for 5 appointments doing major surgery on me. If you have made it this far please tell me what would you do? Would you change doctors? Would you mention any of this to your regular OB? What exactly would you say? Am I just being hormonal or does 3 rescheduled appointments seem like a lot? Oh, and my appointment today went well. Dippe is healthy, I am a cranky whale...its all good.

I'm a whale

I saw a picture of myself taken in profile and I have to say I am a whale. Or the prow of a ship. And I am getting stretch marks in places I didn't get them with my son, which is a bummer. I seem to be carrying all out in front instead of all around like I did with A. Oh well, that is the price you pay for being pregnant and eating like a pig.
I have an appointment on Wednesday...my 2nd to last appt before I go to weekly appts. Hard to believe that I am only 4 weeks away from being full term. This last month went by so quickly! I would never want to endanger the life of the baby, but I wouldn't be sad if she came a little early instead of waiting the whole 40 weeks like her big brother did.
I am still vacillating between doing a VBAC and just scheduling a c-section and getting it over with. I do feel weird picking out the birthday of the baby, although with A. he came 3 days before his scheduled section any way. I have a feeling as I get closer to 40 weeks I will be more desirous just to get things over with in the quickest way possible for my own selfish reasons.
I waited in line for 2 hours on Saturday morning to register A for preschool. He didn't get in to the 3 day a week program because it was already full (WTF? We were first in line) but he will be attending the 2 day a week program which is exciting for the both of us. I think the time I get to spend alone with Dippe 2 days a week will be beneficial to all three of us. Plus, I think A will be excited to have all the stimulation that comes with being in preschool. I know he gets bored some days with just me trying to interact with him. The transition will be rough because he doesn't do too well in new situations. But I think he will be okay after going a couple of times.
That weird pain in my back from last week came back this morning and stayed around until close to 3pm. It didn't get as bad as it did then, but maybe that is because I took some tylenol preemptively as soon as I felt the discomfort. I have no idea what Dippe is pressing on in there to make that pain but I wish she would knock it off.
I am going on a Mom's retreat next weekend and I am thrilled. My patience with my husband and my son has been not so great lately, so a weekend away is going to be a much needed break for all of us. I went apeshit on S today for moving my purse in the car because I thought my sunglasses had fallen out when he moved it...only to discover my glasses were still in my purse, just at the bottom where I couldn't see them. S just looked at me with a smirk and didn't say anything, but I felt like a real horse's ass for flying off the handle so quickly. I am sure S and A are probably just as ready for this pregnancy to be over as I am.

32 Weeks

Well, I gained like 4 pounds in two weeks. Oops. I am trying not to beat myself up about it too much by just rationalizing that every non-baby pound I gain I will just have to lose after the baby is born. Which isn't really working. Oh well.
I had my 32 week appt today. Everything is looking fine. The doctor who freaked me out by telling me that I was measuring 2 weeks large told me today that I am now right on track. So, I got the guts to ask her what exactly that meant. She said, "Oh, nothing. It is normal to measure +/- 3 weeks. Don't worry about it." How irritating. That would've been nice information to know when she freaked me the fuck out a couple of months ago with her, "Wow, you are measuring huge!" comment.
I had a little scare happen yesterday afternoon. I woke up from my afternoon nap with a weird pain around my kidney area on the right side. It felt like a stabbing pain that just wouldn't go away. Of course, I feared the worst and immediately starting freaking out. Which made the pain worse. Poor little A didn't know what to do because he has never seen me like that. So he got his little step stool and was trying to find me a band-aid to "make it all better." It was so sweet. He even gave me kisses on the face to make me feel better...which from him is a precious gift nowadays. It got worse so I called S and asked him where he was on his drive home and luckily he was only 10 mins away. Of course, right before he gets home the pain stops. I have no idea what it was but it hasn't come back. I asked the doctor about it and she just said the baby was probably pressing on some nerve bundles and that caused the pain. It certainly didn't feel like labor...just a weird pain.
I have no new symptoms to report. Dippe is still moving around like crazy. I am getting bigger. My hands are too swollen to wear my wedding set now. I really am lucky that this time my face has stayed clear. I also don't have a linea negra to speak of, but with A by this time I had a very faint one. My hips still ache all night long and I am not sleeping well.
We got to see Dippe on Saturday at my stepdad's office. She was putting her hands around her face and sucking her thumb. It was adorable to watch. We got some pictures but not very good ones. A wasn't too impressed...he wanted to mess with the ultrasound machine and was quite put out when he didn't get to. Then my stepdad did an ultrasound on his heart and stomach and all was well.
My friend from the Mom's Club just delivered on Tuesday an 11 pound baby. Holy shit! I still haven't heard if she managed that vaginally but I am impressed nonetheless. Dear lord, please let this baby not be 11 pounds.

31 weeks

And still coughing. Stupid flu just won't go away. I think I am making up for all the calories I missed when I was on my death bed two weeks ago, however. I just powered down fries and fried zucchini from Carl's Jr with Ranch. Man was it good. I also ate some cookies today, had a blizzard at TCBY, and basically snacked my way through the house. It wasn't pretty. Oh well. And this weekend I will be visiting my Mom for her birthday and she is always trying to stuff me full of food even when I am not pregnant so the week will probably end up being not so great in the weight gain department. Hopefully, Dippe is going through a growth spurt so this will all just wash out. Ha!
I woke up this morning with my old friend sciatica shooting through my right leg. Ugh. I am much farther along this time than with A when it started acting up, which is definitely a blessing. The pain went away mid-day, so I am hoping that it is just irritated from the sleeping positions I am in. The baby may be resting on something that is irritating the nerve. Unfortunately, there is not much I can do about that. Except deliver this baby in 8 weeks.
Dippe is still moving around regularly. She has been giving me very powerful thumps to the cervix which make me gasp in pain every so often. Who knew such a little thing could be so strong?
For some reason my sleeping has been better. My hips still ache and wake me up, but the time between wake ups seems to be increasing. I am grateful for any length longer than two hours, especially since A has taken to waking up at 6am sharp every morning. Luckily, he is so tired from waking up so early that he is relatively compliant about taking naps.
My stepdad is a Urologist and has his own in office ultrasound machine. While we are visiting this weekend we will get a sneak peek at Dippe again. His probe is a different size than the one they use for OB ultrasounds, however, so it does look very different. We did the same thing with A and got to see him sucking his little thumb. But we won't be able to see anything as detailed as an anatomy scan. For some reason I am paranoid that Dippe is actually Dip and all this pink stuff in the baby's room will be all wasted. My mom was like, "The baby won't know" and that is true, if Dippe were actually a boy he would have no idea he was wearing pink flowered outfits. I am usually not one to fall into gender stereotyping myself. But I have to admit that it would bother me having to explain to perfect strangers that my daughter was actually a son. And I would feel obligated to explain. I find it interesting that my mom would be okay with dressing a boy up like a girl, but almost had a heart attack when we mentioned we weren't planning on circumcising A. I guess her open mindedness only goes so far.

On the mend

Thanks for the comments on my last post. I feel so ungrateful when I complain about anything while being pregnant. There was a time not too long ago that I would've endured anything if it meant that I would be pregnant and have a real live baby in the end. And I know so many people who still feel that way. I should be more appreciative of the blessings I do have in life instead of focusing so much on what I don't have.
I finally got some sleep over the weekend, with the exception of Saturday, which I will explain in a moment. I actually took 2 naps on Sunday and then went to bed early that night. I woke up this morning still feeling tired but definitely better than I did on Friday.
On Saturday my wonderful girlfriends threw me the most beautiful baby shower you ever did see! And it was a total surprise!
Here is a picture of the set up
There were 20 ladies in attendance, including my sister and my mom (who made a surprise 3 hour trip just to come). Everything was pink and brown to match Dippe's room.
One of the best presents was the bedroom set that my Mom sewed. It turned out just beautiful and I am so grateful that my mom is such a crafty lady and so generous with her gift.
There is a matching bumper pad and dust ruffle. She had left over material and is sewing some curtains to match. Love that woman!
Here is a picture of all the lovely ladies in attendance. I am the one in the dead center with the long dark hair and dark shirt. Sorry, no close ups..I am very self conscious of how I am looking right now.
I got so many wonderful gifts, the tea nibbles were amazing, and it was definitely a good end to what was a very long and tiring week. I am so lucky to have such great friends and family!
Now I have to write out all the thank you notes...the only bad part.
I had my 30 week appt today and now I start appts every 2 weeks. Hard to believe that I am 10 weeks away now.

Remember

Dear Cate,
Its days like today that you need to remember the next time you even vaguely consider having any more babies.
Remember that feeling in the shower this morning of complete and utter despair because you are about to have 12 two year olds descend upon your house in 30 minutes and you got 4 hours of broken sleep the night before because you were up all night coughing because you have been sick with the flu for 5 days and you are exhausted.
Remember how you cried your head off today because your son spent playgroup acting out on the other kids and how you blamed yourself for his behavior because you haven't been able to give him as much undivided attention this week.
Remember how you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and thought it was someone else because your face is so bloated and your eye sockets are dark from lack of sleep and general pregnancy hormones.
Remember the desperation you felt when you started picturing having another little one after A had his umpteenth meltdown of the day.
Please read this letter when and if you start feeling any sort of desire to get pregnant again.
Lots of love,
Your exhausted, frazzled, and having a moment of clarity self,
Cate

Hiccups

Dippe finally got her first set of hiccups last night. Well the first set that I could feel. It is such a strange experience feeling a baby hiccuping inside you. Honestly, I was getting a little weirded out picturing a baby inside me getting the hiccups. Just makes everything seem more real.
A had terrible hiccups in utero. He would get them at the same time every night, right before I would fall asleep.
My feelings of apprehension about being a mother of two is starting to give way to excitement. I am looking forward to meeting little Dippe and hoping that having a newborn around isn't too traumatic for my son.