Dippe finally got her first set of hiccups last night. Well the first set that I could feel. It is such a strange experience feeling a baby hiccuping inside you. Honestly, I was getting a little weirded out picturing a baby inside me getting the hiccups. Just makes everything seem more real.
A had terrible hiccups in utero. He would get them at the same time every night, right before I would fall asleep.
My feelings of apprehension about being a mother of two is starting to give way to excitement. I am looking forward to meeting little Dippe and hoping that having a newborn around isn't too traumatic for my son.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
The third trimester
Holy frickin' crap! Where did the time go? Seems like I was just talking about puking my guts out and getting too big for regular clothes. Now all of a sudden I am double digits in days away from meeting Dippe. And scared shitless.
There is something to be said for the ignorance of a first time pregnancy. You don't know the enormity of what is to come. You can spend your time imagining all the blissful moments you experience having a newborn around. Picturing the wonder of motherhood you fold and refold all the little clothes and try to imagine meeting your little one for the first time after your perfect, glorious birth.
Then the baby arrives and your world is turned upside down.
With A, I was totally unprepared for the constancy of motherhood and the inevitability of the mistakes I would make, not only as a first time mom, but as a human being. Every day brought new situations that I had no idea how to handle. I felt inadequate as a mother and wondered constantly how my son would ever survive to adulthood with a bumbling idiot for a mom.
Obviously I made it through and my son is still alive. I still feel like a miserable failure at parenting >80% of the time, but I guess that is okay since it is down from 100% at the time of his birth. Everyone tells me that the newborn stage the 2nd time around is easier. I am hoping that they are right.
Dippe is a very active little one right now. She kicks and punches and moves around all the time. She also gets herself caught in very uncomfortable places still. Now that she is bigger it hurts more when she gets "stuck."
According to my pregnancy books she is able to hear sounds from outside the womb now and is opening her eyes. I wonder what she sees in there? I wonder what she hears? She will probably come out reciting Hop on Pop and Fox in Socks since I am reading those books to A at least 10 times a day each (at his request).
I feel like a whale and I still have 3 months to get bigger. I am nervous about being a newborn mom again. I am wondering what little Dippe will look, act, sound, and smell like. I am looking forward to being done with pregnancy once and for all.
There is something to be said for the ignorance of a first time pregnancy. You don't know the enormity of what is to come. You can spend your time imagining all the blissful moments you experience having a newborn around. Picturing the wonder of motherhood you fold and refold all the little clothes and try to imagine meeting your little one for the first time after your perfect, glorious birth.
Then the baby arrives and your world is turned upside down.
With A, I was totally unprepared for the constancy of motherhood and the inevitability of the mistakes I would make, not only as a first time mom, but as a human being. Every day brought new situations that I had no idea how to handle. I felt inadequate as a mother and wondered constantly how my son would ever survive to adulthood with a bumbling idiot for a mom.
Obviously I made it through and my son is still alive. I still feel like a miserable failure at parenting >80% of the time, but I guess that is okay since it is down from 100% at the time of his birth. Everyone tells me that the newborn stage the 2nd time around is easier. I am hoping that they are right.
Dippe is a very active little one right now. She kicks and punches and moves around all the time. She also gets herself caught in very uncomfortable places still. Now that she is bigger it hurts more when she gets "stuck."
According to my pregnancy books she is able to hear sounds from outside the womb now and is opening her eyes. I wonder what she sees in there? I wonder what she hears? She will probably come out reciting Hop on Pop and Fox in Socks since I am reading those books to A at least 10 times a day each (at his request).
I feel like a whale and I still have 3 months to get bigger. I am nervous about being a newborn mom again. I am wondering what little Dippe will look, act, sound, and smell like. I am looking forward to being done with pregnancy once and for all.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
26 week appt today
To VBAC or not to VBAC, that is the question.
I got to see my second favorite doctor in the practice today. She has the same very low key approach to pregnancy as my doctor, which is very refreshing. In fact, if I didn't love my main doctor so much I would probably switch to this doctor.
We had a very interesting conversation about Vaginal Birth after Cesarean today. I never really got to labor with A. My sister was diagnosed with Cephalopelvic Disproportion while giving birth to her first daughter and ended up having an emergency c-section. Long story short, I guess I have a narrow pelvis too (which is a total laugh because my ass and hips look like the classic "birthing" kind). My dr. informed me that I could probably squeeze an 8 pounder through, but anything bigger than that would be near impossible. A was 9lbs 2 oz and delivered by c-section. I had a c-section scheduled but ended up going into labor 2 days before on my own. I was in labor for approximately 12 hours with no change in my cervix and since we had already scheduled the c-section my doctor ended up doing one.
I always wondered if I should've pressed the issue more and at least attempted to get to active labor to see what happened. Honestly, after experiencing so many losses I was just happy to get a live baby out of the whole process and didn't care about how he got here. So I just trusted my doctor's instincts and went ahead with the c-section.
Now Dr. #2 is telling me that she thinks a VBAC would be appropriate here and that there really is no way to predict how big the baby will be and how everything will turn out. Also, they can't force me to do a repeat c-section. Why wasn't this stuff brought up the first time? I kind of got the impression from MY doctor that a c-section was the only way to go even though it was my first attempt at delivery.
I just don't know what to do now. I want the baby to get here safely. I also want to attempt a birth the old fashioned way. There are risks to repeat c-section as well as to a VBAC. Do I let my desire for a vaginal birth lead me down a path that could end up in having an emergency c-section due to failure to progress? Or a possible uterine rupture causing fetal death or hysterectomy (the risk is <1%)?
I just don't know. And the doctor couldn't give me the magic answer I was looking for. She couldn't say either way what would be best. She basically told me that the decision is up to me.
In other news, my uterus is still measuring two weeks ahead, my GTT was normal, and everything is looking very healthy.
And I think I have decided on a name.
I got to see my second favorite doctor in the practice today. She has the same very low key approach to pregnancy as my doctor, which is very refreshing. In fact, if I didn't love my main doctor so much I would probably switch to this doctor.
We had a very interesting conversation about Vaginal Birth after Cesarean today. I never really got to labor with A. My sister was diagnosed with Cephalopelvic Disproportion while giving birth to her first daughter and ended up having an emergency c-section. Long story short, I guess I have a narrow pelvis too (which is a total laugh because my ass and hips look like the classic "birthing" kind). My dr. informed me that I could probably squeeze an 8 pounder through, but anything bigger than that would be near impossible. A was 9lbs 2 oz and delivered by c-section. I had a c-section scheduled but ended up going into labor 2 days before on my own. I was in labor for approximately 12 hours with no change in my cervix and since we had already scheduled the c-section my doctor ended up doing one.
I always wondered if I should've pressed the issue more and at least attempted to get to active labor to see what happened. Honestly, after experiencing so many losses I was just happy to get a live baby out of the whole process and didn't care about how he got here. So I just trusted my doctor's instincts and went ahead with the c-section.
Now Dr. #2 is telling me that she thinks a VBAC would be appropriate here and that there really is no way to predict how big the baby will be and how everything will turn out. Also, they can't force me to do a repeat c-section. Why wasn't this stuff brought up the first time? I kind of got the impression from MY doctor that a c-section was the only way to go even though it was my first attempt at delivery.
I just don't know what to do now. I want the baby to get here safely. I also want to attempt a birth the old fashioned way. There are risks to repeat c-section as well as to a VBAC. Do I let my desire for a vaginal birth lead me down a path that could end up in having an emergency c-section due to failure to progress? Or a possible uterine rupture causing fetal death or hysterectomy (the risk is <1%)?
I just don't know. And the doctor couldn't give me the magic answer I was looking for. She couldn't say either way what would be best. She basically told me that the decision is up to me.
In other news, my uterus is still measuring two weeks ahead, my GTT was normal, and everything is looking very healthy.
And I think I have decided on a name.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
By the way
If you ever get tired of the baby stuff, I do have another blog. I have to warn you, though, I mainly use it to vent about stuff that I wouldn't normally talk about in real life. So there is a lot of bitching and swearing on it. I also say a lot of very ugly things.
I am still kind of timid about sharing the link, so let me know if you would like to read it and I will email you.
I am still kind of timid about sharing the link, so let me know if you would like to read it and I will email you.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Not too much to report
I am getting rather large but not too uncomfortable yet, except for sleeping. I am probably not getting more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. My hips are still killing me and I end up tossing and turning from side to side all night trying to get comfortable. This is exactly what happened with A's pregnancy.
In addition to having aching hips, my pea sized bladder makes me get up every 2 hours anyway. There is nothing more annoying than sitting on the toilet at 3 am feeling like you have to pee a waterfall and only a tiny trickle comes out. I figure if I am going to get my ass out of bed and sit on that cold toilet seat the least my bladder could do is oblige me with the god damn Niagara Falls shooting out. Dippe has taken to kicking my bladder repeatedly if it is even the slightest bit full, which also adds to the fun.
Dippe has been very active lately, especially in the evening. I have no idea if its kicks or punches but she does it a lot, especially at the top of my uterus. Speaking of my uterus, it must be gigantic. They haven't done an official tape measurement at my appointments yet, but it feels like it is pretty high up there. Makes me worried that I am going to feel more uncomfortable faster this time around.
I am in the midst of potty training A and I have to say that lack of sleep is making my patience very thin. Not to mention the fact that he is deep in the "terrible twos" and doesn't listen to a word I say unless it involves candy or toys. We have been trying the super*nanny techniques for time outs which doesn't really seem to be working. The only reason I say that is because he will get a time out for something, come out of time out, then go and do the thing he just got put in time out for doing. I get scared because in a few months I will be adding a newborn to this mess and I wonder how I am going to handle it all.
Please, please, please let Dippe be one of those "easy" babies I have heard so much about.
In addition to having aching hips, my pea sized bladder makes me get up every 2 hours anyway. There is nothing more annoying than sitting on the toilet at 3 am feeling like you have to pee a waterfall and only a tiny trickle comes out. I figure if I am going to get my ass out of bed and sit on that cold toilet seat the least my bladder could do is oblige me with the god damn Niagara Falls shooting out. Dippe has taken to kicking my bladder repeatedly if it is even the slightest bit full, which also adds to the fun.
Dippe has been very active lately, especially in the evening. I have no idea if its kicks or punches but she does it a lot, especially at the top of my uterus. Speaking of my uterus, it must be gigantic. They haven't done an official tape measurement at my appointments yet, but it feels like it is pretty high up there. Makes me worried that I am going to feel more uncomfortable faster this time around.
I am in the midst of potty training A and I have to say that lack of sleep is making my patience very thin. Not to mention the fact that he is deep in the "terrible twos" and doesn't listen to a word I say unless it involves candy or toys. We have been trying the super*nanny techniques for time outs which doesn't really seem to be working. The only reason I say that is because he will get a time out for something, come out of time out, then go and do the thing he just got put in time out for doing. I get scared because in a few months I will be adding a newborn to this mess and I wonder how I am going to handle it all.
Please, please, please let Dippe be one of those "easy" babies I have heard so much about.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Almost 25 weeks...
The baby fever has finally started to hit. I see babies everywhere and I want to hold them. I heard a newborn baby crying in the next aisle at Target the other day and it was all I could do not to run over there and pull that little thing right out of his car seat and cuddle him. I am amazed that I didn't spontaneously start lactating. I can't believe that I will have one of those little things in a matter of weeks. 15 to be exact.
This weekend my Mom and I picked out the fabric for Dippe's crib bedding. If she is anything like A. she won't be sleeping in her crib for a while but it is always nice to have the room all set up. What I like best about the bedding is that it has minimal pink. Just pink accents, which are very pale and not over powering. I like pink as a color. In fact, it is one of my favorite colors to wear myself. For some reason, however, I just have issues with the fact that most girls clothes are pink. And most girls bedding is pink. Just like most boys' clothes are blue.
I know there are better things to think about. But it is fun to indulge in tiny little baby clothes with little details like matching shoes and hats. Because babydom is really the only time when you can get away with wearing an ensemble that has a hat, shoes, and outfit all made of the same matching material.
I can't believe that I am only 3 weeks away from the 3rd trimester. Where has the time gone? I have a feeling these next few months are going to go by so fast. This time of year always does for me. Once Christmas and New Year's are over there is a birthday or two every month until June. Needless to say, it is a busy time of year for me.
Next week I will be going in for my GTT. I am half scared I won't pass. With PCOS there is a higher risk of gestational diabetes.
Baby Bean Dippe has been very active lately. She also keeps getting stuck in uncomfortable places and squirming around until she gets herself unstuck. I feel like I want to just reach in and move her out of the way myself because all of her squirming is very uncomfortable. I was reading that already she is starting to run out of room in my uterus, which would explain all the squirming. I hope she does some redecorating because she still has almost 4 more months of occupancy.
This weekend my Mom and I picked out the fabric for Dippe's crib bedding. If she is anything like A. she won't be sleeping in her crib for a while but it is always nice to have the room all set up. What I like best about the bedding is that it has minimal pink. Just pink accents, which are very pale and not over powering. I like pink as a color. In fact, it is one of my favorite colors to wear myself. For some reason, however, I just have issues with the fact that most girls clothes are pink. And most girls bedding is pink. Just like most boys' clothes are blue.
I know there are better things to think about. But it is fun to indulge in tiny little baby clothes with little details like matching shoes and hats. Because babydom is really the only time when you can get away with wearing an ensemble that has a hat, shoes, and outfit all made of the same matching material.
I can't believe that I am only 3 weeks away from the 3rd trimester. Where has the time gone? I have a feeling these next few months are going to go by so fast. This time of year always does for me. Once Christmas and New Year's are over there is a birthday or two every month until June. Needless to say, it is a busy time of year for me.
Next week I will be going in for my GTT. I am half scared I won't pass. With PCOS there is a higher risk of gestational diabetes.
Baby Bean Dippe has been very active lately. She also keeps getting stuck in uncomfortable places and squirming around until she gets herself unstuck. I feel like I want to just reach in and move her out of the way myself because all of her squirming is very uncomfortable. I was reading that already she is starting to run out of room in my uterus, which would explain all the squirming. I hope she does some redecorating because she still has almost 4 more months of occupancy.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Doctor's Appt
I am now 22 weeks 2 days gestation. And I have gained 15 pounds. Stupid cookies.
My appt. went well. Quickest appt I have had since I found out I was pregnant. I didn't have to wait the customary 15-20 minutes before I got into the exam room, which was a nice surprise. The Dr. has gotten a new assistant and she was very nice.
The doctor himself was very nice as well..his bedside manner has improved greatly. The only problem was that he had a gigantic booger hanging out of his nose. I was so distracted by it that I could barely pay attention to what he said the whole time he was talking to me. I kept trying to avoid looking at it, but my eyes would drift down and then I would get grossed out and look away. Yes, I know I should've said something but I don't know the guy very well and am a chicken shit. If it had been a friend I would've. I feel bad now. Hopefully his assistant noticed and helped him out.
Anyway, my ultrasound results were in as well as the AFP results. Everything was normal, which is wonderful. Next is my GTT in 3-4 weeks and then it is cruising like a bloated viking ship towards delivering this little girl. Hopefully I make it through the holidays without packing on any more pounds. I think I am doing okay compared to Angus, though. I couldn't wear my wedding rings by this time in his pregnancy.
You may be thinking, "Why is she so obsessed with her weight gain?" Well, because I realized how stupid I was in my pregnancy with Angus by eating like a fiend and gaining so much weight. It was a bitch to lose and took me over a year (not a year from when he was born, a year from when I started actually trying. Angus was actually 8 months old) to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. So, I am trying to be more sensible this time. I am 3 years older this go around, and my body just doesn't bounce back as well.
My appt. went well. Quickest appt I have had since I found out I was pregnant. I didn't have to wait the customary 15-20 minutes before I got into the exam room, which was a nice surprise. The Dr. has gotten a new assistant and she was very nice.
The doctor himself was very nice as well..his bedside manner has improved greatly. The only problem was that he had a gigantic booger hanging out of his nose. I was so distracted by it that I could barely pay attention to what he said the whole time he was talking to me. I kept trying to avoid looking at it, but my eyes would drift down and then I would get grossed out and look away. Yes, I know I should've said something but I don't know the guy very well and am a chicken shit. If it had been a friend I would've. I feel bad now. Hopefully his assistant noticed and helped him out.
Anyway, my ultrasound results were in as well as the AFP results. Everything was normal, which is wonderful. Next is my GTT in 3-4 weeks and then it is cruising like a bloated viking ship towards delivering this little girl. Hopefully I make it through the holidays without packing on any more pounds. I think I am doing okay compared to Angus, though. I couldn't wear my wedding rings by this time in his pregnancy.
You may be thinking, "Why is she so obsessed with her weight gain?" Well, because I realized how stupid I was in my pregnancy with Angus by eating like a fiend and gaining so much weight. It was a bitch to lose and took me over a year (not a year from when he was born, a year from when I started actually trying. Angus was actually 8 months old) to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. So, I am trying to be more sensible this time. I am 3 years older this go around, and my body just doesn't bounce back as well.
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